Taking Care of Yourself is Important

I did something this morning that I haven't done in almost two years. I went to see a general practitioner. Don't worry, it's nothing serious at present and hopefully it'll stay that way.

I made the decision to see a GP for a routine checkup because it became apparent that next year will be a milestone birthday for me and I am sure as hell not ready for it in no way, shape or form. Thirty. I will be turning thirty next year which seems incredibly bizarre because I don't look my age (thank you to every bouncer and bar tender who still ask me for an ID when I order a drink), I definitely don't dress my age, I don't wear makeup at all and I have not achieved any grand "plans" that most people in my generation have already ticked off their list. The plans in question would be the basic adult checklist: get married, buy a house, have kids etc.

Growing up I never felt the urgency to achieve these things. I never felt the need to put my life on a schedule and that I had to do something by a certain time because from my experience unexpected things happen all the time and I figured that if I didn't put anything on a set deadline then there would be room for flexibility and reassessment. I'm not a fan of burdening myself with unnecessary stress and timelines are one of them.

When I got into my mid twenties, I made peace with my decision to not have children and to be honest that was a great relief. It is a major responsibility that I will never be ready for. I appreciate my freedom and ability to come and go as I please and in terms of my financials, I'm getting by as best I can and have a job that affords me the life I want at present. I am fine being the cool aunt and can still enjoy watching the kids in my family grow up and experience all the crazy things existence is going to throw at them.

As for getting married, my boyfriend and I will get there eventually and we are in no rush. Our current battle is distance. You see, I am in Australia and he is in Belgium. It will take around twenty four hours of travel time to actually see each other and I am not going to factor in costs at the moment because that fluctuates. Basically, we cannot afford it. We cannot afford to travel, we cannot afford for either of us to move countries, we cannot afford it. But if my life has taught me anything is that something good will happen and in its own time.

I think everything tends to just smack you in the face before you hit three decades of existence. This time around I feel like my health is where I need to place my focus now. I barely sleep because I can't quiet my mind. I move slower and without purpose it feels. I don't find enthusiasm in the promise of a new day because it seems like everyday is the same and benign. But something doesn't feel right. My body doesn't feel right. And my mind is just hanging on as best it can. After months of monitoring myself and coming up with excuses as to why I don't feel right, I saw a doctor and listed a few things I felt were wrong. I left feeling somewhat lighter and the doctor was pleasant and earnest, and I honestly appreciated that so much.

Diabetes and heart disease is common in my family and I think it's about time I get that checked out to be absolutely sure that I'm in the green and if I'm not, I've hopefully given myself enough time to get ahead of it. I'll probably keep you updated as I go along. I still have to make an appointment with the pathology lab for my tests but currently my roster is crazy as all hell but I will make the effort. Why? Because taking care of yourself is important.

Photo Credit: Ryssa Fiu