Dear Friend I May Never Meet

Dear friend I may never meet,

It's probably just me, but then again when I think of the gravity of what I feel, I don't think I can be the only person who feels this. I have this longing. A longing for a person I have never met. Someone who has crossed my path on social media, who lives thousands of miles away but is someone whom I feel can be the only person to understand me.

Is it crazy that that person is you? It is, isn't it?

There are mornings I wake up and wish that I could send you a message to see if you're doing ok and ask if you've eaten anything more than chicken nuggets, although there is absolutely nothing wrong with chicken nugs but variety can be good too. But I know I won't get a reply. You're really taking off on social media and your podcast is doing amazing so why would you make time or take notice of a stranger like me?

It was your voice that started all this. It was one of your TikToks that ended up in my inbox and I was intrigued. It was the video of you promoting your podcast, you only had one episode back then and now you're on twelve, not counting the bonus stuff on your Patreon of course. It was your voice that gripped me and pulled me in but it was you that made me stay. Through your podcast I heard a beautiful human so marvellous in his "um's" and "uh's" that I found it endearing. How bewildering it was that you so easily quieted my mind without effort.

Now I'm struggling to string a coherent sentence together to get out what it is I really want to say but I may get there eventually toward the end of this.

I would imagine movie nights with you would not be boring. I'd even figure that you've probably watched as many movies as I have and know the same trivia bits about them as I do. Not to mention if we're able to recite the same monologues...now that would be a good time.

I'd want to ask about what high school was like for you and if you had the same experiences and doubts as me. I wonder if you listened to the same songs I did on the bad days in order to make them easier to bear. Did younger you imagine that it would ever work out or that you'd make it? Younger me felt very much alone in her emotions and didn't think she'd survive most days. But music always made it better and from what I know of you, it's likely you'd agree.

If I knew you back then, would we have been friends? Would you have taught me how to ride a skateboard if I asked? Would you have been concerned or entertained at first when I bailed really hard because I lost balance? Would we have hung out at your house or mine? I'm guessing mine because we had around fifteen dogs on our property and you wouldn't have wanted to leave.

And most importantly, would you have made fun of me for loving Twilight and Edward Cullen or would you have thought it was adorable?

I don't even know how old you are but the references you make in your podcasts leads me to believe that you're around my age. That's sort of a pleasant notion if it's true because knowing that we grew up in the same era means we have an appreciation for certain things that are no longer around. Even saying that makes me feel old.

If I'm being perfectly upfront with you, I think you're extraordinary. Mainly because when I hear you speak, it sounds as if you are completely and utterly comfortable in your skin. That you are completely and unapologetically you. And I admire the heck out of you.

Those who are part of your close circle are the luckiest people in the world to know you. I wish we could have such a friendship if any friendship at all. What is it they say, "Dreams are free."

After all that, I think I have finally found the words to say.

Dear friend I may never meet, I hope you have something that makes you smile everyday. I hope you have someone in your life who says "I love you" and makes you feel it too.

Dear friend I may never meet, I hope you know that you make people happy and help settle them into their place of Zen. I hope you know that what you do matters and it makes an impact on those who need it the most.

Dear friend I may never meet, I hope you know that your existence is a blessing. I hope you know that in you I have found solace.

Dear friend I may never meet, I love how much you love dogs. You are the purest of beings and your heart is so big and so full of love.

Dear friend I may never meet, I hope you know that your music and your words matter in this life and every lifetime thereafter. I hope you know that it changes how someone feels in a split second.

Dear friend I may never meet, never ever stop being completely, unapologetically and freely you. Because we need more people like you in the world.

Dear friend I may never meet, please know that I smile because of you. Please know that you are a result of the Universe's magic.

Love,

Me x

Photo Credit: Ryssa Fiu